The Dilemma of the Real

I went to see Dr. Harrington earlier today. He asked me what I wanted to talk about, so I took a deep breath...and plunged.

There is an issue that many of my friends know about, but none of them completely understand the gravity of its effect on me. The only one who truly knew the whole story, because she was there from the very beginning, was Aunt Tudi. She was my sounding board, offering up epiphanies that would help keep me balanced and enable me to go beyond any strangeness that was standing in my way of doing what I do ~ write.

It's been three years now, and her absence, combined with a ramping up of the weirdness, has placed me in a situation where I'm internalising all of it, and ruminating on the things that threaten to break my brain. I tend to hone in on things, and keep them in my sight, unable to let go, because each thread connects all the other threads, and it's all important. Since Aunt Tudi's death, I have had no real outlet to release the pressure. I'm like the boiler in the Overlook Hotel. It's been building to the point of explosion.

Since Dr. Harrington is very much into Carl Jung, I asked him what his thoughts were on synchronicity. At first, he gave the textbook explanation of the phenomenon, then offered his opinion that seemingly unrelated things that occur and appear to be connected are connected, if for no other reason than the perception of the person who has witnessed the occurrences. Then he wanted to know why I asked.

Steeling myself for the judgment I was certain would come, I tried to explain to him what has been going on for ages, and how I had more issues with it now than ever before. Why? Because I always had the ability to ascribe paranormal/supernatural/spiritual explanations for the events in my life. But with my turning away from such folly, I've been left without any rational explanation for all the heinous fuckery I've seen and experienced.

At the end of our session, he thanked me for the "intelligent conversation", and assured me that I did not sound like a lunatic. I told him from the beginning that trying to sort out the bizarre happenings of this existence made me feel like I was batshit crazy, and I figured he'd come to the same conclusion by the time I was finished babbling incoherently. But he told me I came across as someone who was looking at the issue as objectively as I could, given the inherent subjectiveness of synchronicity. He said I successfully communicated the turmoil and inspiration, along with the blurred lines between "real life" and "creative artistry." He also made the point that weird shit happens all the time, and that doesn't mean the person it's happening to is a insane.

Just yesterday, I stumbled across an image that almost perfectly mirrored another picture that I've had for longer than the other pic is old. Even though the connection between the two was only really relevant to me, Dr. Harrington admitted that it was strange as fuck, and there may never be a satisfactory explanation for such phenomena.

So, as it stands, I'm probably going to be SOL when seeking a rational explanation. At least, now, I feel like I might have someone to whom I can partially, coherently explain. Only time will tell...

  • Current Location: home
  • Current Mood: thoughtful thoughtful
  • Current Music: Scott & Brendo - No Leash
Sunday, Cyn and I visited an establishment for a looksee. We ended up talking to a woman for a little bit. Monday, night, Cyn was sitting at her computer, and I was cleaning the bathroom. I was thinking about that woman we had met, and then brought her up to Cyn. When I was done speaking, Cyn told me that she was fixing up the photo that she took during our conversation with that woman.

Yesterday, we got a new mattress. I didn't sleep well, and was unhappy with it. Midmorning, at work, I was thinking about this, and was getting myself a little worked up over the whole deal. In the five minutes this was happening, I got a message from Cyn asking how I slept on the new mattress.

Two noticeable incidents in just three days. I'm not sure if these are as interesting as your incidents, but it makes it hard to believe there's not... another... plane?

People put this stuff down to coincidence. They say that the odds are in favor if things like this happening sooner or later. I believe that could be true. But something else I believe to be true - there could very well be a scientific explanation for things which we currently regard as superstition. I mean, we don't even understand where consciousness comes from. Who's to say there's not a level of superconscious communication? Hundreds of thousands of people willing something to happen? What's then preventing it?

Edited at 2014-09-26 04:27 am (UTC)
We grok, dude. I've long said that if religion and Quantum physicists could figure out a way to work together, everything would be rationally explained. Then when I started reading up on string theory, I was blown away. String theory, the idea that we might be a hologram or living in a Sims state on a harddrive somewhere else, and the Buddhist belief that none of this is real really resonates with me. But I can't bring myself to believe on a more spiritual level.

Is there such a thing as coincidence? I don't know. I tend to think not. Do I have an explanation? Nope.

I hope the mattress feels better to you soon. It wouldn't surprise me if you and Cyn cross paths with that woman again, too.
Maybe it's just my lack of coffee or my surly demeanor due to it being the Wrong Side of Friday, but I am not sure that seeking a rational explanation is a worthy exercise--at least, it isn't for me. Or, a line from The Doors:

"Deliver me from reasons why"

After all, there's so much CRRRRRAP in the world that no one feels the need to repair, explain, or even address; why not allow the odd to plod along and enjoy it or not based simply on its own merits?

Viddy the horrorshow well, o my brothers
Jung's own attitude towards synchronicity (and other woo stuff like Gnosticism and alchemy) may help you here. He managed to work with this stuff without losing his scientific viewpoint. In the end, it was its relevance to the psychological Great Work of individuation (his own as well as his patients') that was important, and he at least seemed to remain agnostic about the actual external/objective reality of the phenomena.

Dr. Harrington, IMHO, seems to be on the right track- every occurrence is a coincidence; it's the meaning that a coincidence holds for us that makes it a synchronicity.

To paraphrase Richard Feynman, a mark of a true scientist is the willingness to admit ignorance and uncertainty, to say we don't know the explanation for something when we honestly don't. Or I can quote Einstein: "As a circle of light expands, so does the circumference of the darkness around it."

No matter our positions on faith, deity, magick, the paranormal, Fortean phenomena, etc., we're all still experiencing the world through the medium of our consciousness, not directly. "It's all in your head- you just have no idea how big your head is." - Lon Milo DuQuette.
All very wise words, evcelt. I was quite relieved when I first went to the doctor, 'cos my first question was if he was more Freudian or Jungian. I think both schools have tons of tools to help with psychology, whether it's your own or someone else's, but I admit I'm more partial to Carl Jung. He told me then, that he was in the Jung camp. If I hadn't known that, I doubt I would have talked to him about synchronicity and the law of attraction. As for the paranormal, I do think that there are things that we cannot yet explain, and that everything we see as paranormal now future generations may think is par for the course. The magick of yesterday is the science of today.

I can't help but think String Theory will answer all my burning questions.
String theory is....interesting, I have to admit. It didn't make a lot of sense to me when I looked at it before, but maybe when I can destress and refresh I can look at it again and have it sink in a bit better.

A doc that's not calling you crazy right out of the gate? That's a good sign. :)

Although we're probably still stuck in the Matrix, lol. :)
There is a group of scientists researching the possibility that the reality in which we currently live is a hologram, and that we could all actually be living in a kind of Sims program. If that turns out to be true, Buddhism comes out the clear winner in religious debate. So, yeah, the Matrix probably does have us.