Giving Up

There's been a change somehow. I don't know what happened, I don't know how it happened, but it's been going on for quite some time now. I've been shut out. I have been pushed back. I've tried to reverse it. I have tried to make it right somehow, whatever it was I had done.

But it's no use.

I give up. I am retreating. I am licking my wounds in the deafening silence, and I am no long going to try.

I've known it for a while. I just didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to even conceive of it. I probably just made things worse in my attempts to retrieve that I had obviously lost. This may make everything, everything change. The total end of an era.

And I have no idea how to begin, what to begin with. Where. I feel adrift. Disconnected. And pretty much abandoned. I've tried too hard. I've made things worse.

I have been a fool.
  • Current Location: home
  • Current Mood: crushed crushed
  • Current Music: some crap on tv
Sorry everything is so bad, hon. I know it's not much help, but I know how you feel. You just want to scream, how can it get any worse? And then there's the fear that you know it can. But know you still have your LJ friends. We wouldn't still be here if we didn't care. I don't have the words, but just know that I care.

I see so much of myself in you. I won't bore you with comparisons and differences, but I sometimes see you as the long lost sister I never had! You are talented to the point of intimidation and intelligent enough to make me just shut up and listen (traits I wish I did have!).

Contact me anytime you need to talk. I'm here.
Thanks, love. I don't know what I would do without you guys. And I'm not that talented or intelligent, trust me. Average pretty much covers it, but I am honoured you think otherwise. *hugs*