Bellatrix

Bully

I am 100% sympathetic with members of the GLBT being bullied, but I take issue with the inclination of the public acting like they are the only ones who are or have ever been bullied. Here is a most-decidedly incomplete list of people who have been or are bullied:


  • "fat" kids (I know this firsthand and in SPADES)

  • small kids

  • poor kids

  • shy kids

  • the sports-challenged

  • kids who have developed faster than others (this more-often applies to girls whose breasts are very developed)

  • kids who aren't as "smart" as their contemporaries

  • "geeks," "nerds," and other kids who are "smarter" than their contemporaries

  • non-xtians



I implore the media to give these kids equal time to the gay kids who are mercilessly bullied by those who feel they are entitled to do so. If you don't, there is an absolute certainty that another Columbine will happen in the future, when kids bullied beyond their capacity to deal decide to turn the gun on those other than themselves.

Think for godssake.
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I'm not sure if I told you that I was active in GLBT politics, particular Bi politics, back in the late 90's. The things that turned me off were, as you noted, the attitude that "we're the most [or only] bullied/disenfranchised group that should matter to you" and a couple of the leaders being more concerned with who was portrayed in media (and online) as more active. It was no longer about reality, but perception.
It's sad when a cause you care about and are involved in working actively in is damaged by such shenanigans. I was the same about about PETA. I was an active member in the organisation in the early 90s because, as you know, I care about animals. I had to leave the group because they ended up being crazy as fuck. And, essentially, that's what they're primarily known for to this day, not for the benefit and defense of animals. Pisses me right off when a group does something like that, so I feel your pain.
I think that I've really come to terms with a) I'm not really a group person and that even labeling myself a "gregarious loner" is stretching it; and b) most groups are, regardless of good intentions, crazy as fuck and run by assholes who arrogate themselves as heroes.
I'm not certain how much bullying (in specific) is the issue with GLBT. It is, of course, but it's not a matter of kids simply being mean to each other over stupid things, it's a deeply ingrained sense that homosexuality is very wrong. So framing it as bullying is only partly helpful in the first place.
It is also an ingrained sense of modern society that being overweight is inherently wrong. Actually the gender issues we have today is a modern malfunction. Ancient cultures were traditionally much more forgiving of homosexuals and overweight people. Modern bullying of anyone is an abomination.
Bullies, of any sort, instil in me such a deep, cold fury that I lack the words to describe exactly how much burning hatred there really is in my soul. As the perpetual new kid, throughout my life, not to mention the whole early bloomer thing, I was constantly scrutinized and found lacking. I've never fit in, not completely, anywhere and I likely never will.

There were a few fist fights in my youth over the bullying of my friend, Jenny, who suffered from Hutchinson–Gilford Progeria Syndrome. I lost as many as I won, but she was such a delicate, sensitive human being that even at the terribly young age I was -- I knew it was an injustice and I knew that if I didn't stand up for her no one else would. People were afraid of her and it's so much easier to hate than to gain an understanding.

I have to be perfectly frank when I say that the absolute worst bullies I ever dealt with to date were my Mother and step-father. (You've been reading me for nigh on a decade now, so I'm sure that you're weary of hearing about my parental issues, so I won't rehash. ;) )

When I began puberty (which was around 3rd grade, early bloomer and all that) I gained a ton of weight and went from no tits to a c cup over one Summer. Going back to school was like entering an alien atmosphere. Mocked, groped, generally made to feel disgusting.. all in a day's experience.

In high school I was injured by bullies -- when I spoke to the principal, he told me I'd brought it on myself by being, and this is a direct quote, "out of the norms of society." I was different. I've always been different. I always will. I made up my mind on that day -- that if fitting into the norms of society meant beating the shit out of a girl you didn't even know because she was a 'devil worshipper' then I never wanted to fit into said norms.

I'm not always a good person, I make mistakes, and I've been a mean-spirited cunt now and again, but I never, ever try to exploit someone's difference to cut them. I would never dream of crushing someone's soul the way that mine was trod on.

Sadly, as an obese woman, I know that there will never, ever be anything but mockery for the fat folks. Because, obviously, if a person is fat, it's because they're lazy, not worried about nutrition, and less than human. That attitude is taught/learned, and I've done my level best to raise a child that can see past all the bullshit that the media (and the gross whole of society) portrays as the ONLY form of beauty/health/proper appearance.

Wow.. sorry, sugar, I didn't mean to babble on like that, all I was trying to do was tell you I grok and agree. I'll shut up now. :X

Edited at 2012-04-23 07:01 am (UTC)
Don't ever apologise for venting your emotions or opinions here. That is what this space if for. And I feel you on every level, but you know that.
I think the overarching attraction for bullies is social misfits. I think there are people in all those categories who get less bullying because they can function well socially. If one can function well socially, one can build coalitions for defense and project strength to deter bullies.

Those of us who lack social skills often end up alone--the straggler from the herd that predators look for. Certainly, those categories contain a disproportionate amount of social misfits--though even some without visible differences get that "weird" label because they lack social skills.
I already commented on your FB, but I was catching up on the ol' LJ (I do read, even if I don't post so much.) What you said about animals reminded me of the fact that one of the most hateful forms of bullying in my book is the abuse of animals. Wild animals simply shouldn't be in a position to be tormented by humans for sport, and domestic animals are so completely dependent on us to just live. I particularly loath people who hurt small, helpless animals. I just don't even understand the appeal? An abuser feels so small in life that they need to show their superior strength over a cat, or dog? Like that's fucking hard? One of my oldest friends just recently had to take her kitty to the vet because some waste of fucking life poured turpentine on it. The kitty has survived, but who knows what damage is done. It's disgusting. I look at my own tiny dog, and even in the midst of her poor potty training, and psychotic barking, I couldn't *imagine* causing her actual pain. She looks wounded enough when I shoot at her with canned air.
Everything you said: WISDOM. There's actually a name for the human subjugation of its fellow Earthlings. It's called speciesism. It is actually this one crime that is my main reason for wanting the Alpaca Lips.