Hickey Monster

Loss

the_loss_by_whiluna-d9h0l0s.png.jpeg

Last Tuesday, I officially ended an almost 30-year friendship that unofficially ended when I was thrown into grief over losing Aunt Tudi.  It would seem that suicidal depression and self-isolation clears the room every damned time.  I’m not saying anything further about it, because there’s nothing more to say, except for one thing.  The friendship could often be very toxic but, because of who we were and how we were treated before we met, the two of us always ended up back together.  It won’t happen this time.  There are too many miles, tears, and life-changes between us now.  I will miss him but, honestly, I’ve been missing him since he moved across the country back in the 90s.  It’s time to accept the inevitable.

In other loss news, I’m still reeling over the death of Prince.  From the moment I heard and saw him in the Controversy video, I was in love with his music and in lust with him.  From 1981 until his death, that never changed, and it never will.  After so many losses of beloved musicians so far this year (fuck you, 2016.  fuck you hard.), I’m pretty much walking around in a combination of stunned grief and abject fear.  Why the fear?  Well, there’s Shriekback, Barry Andrews and Carl Marsh in particular, with whom I’ve developed a good friendship/acquaintance and a fine working relationship over the years.  Then there’s Jeff Lynne, who’s resurrected ELO I’m supposed to finally get to see in concert after ages of dreaming.  If any of them passES this year, I’m going to lose my fucking shit.  I’m not exaggerating here.  I can barely handle thinking and writing about it.

  • Current Location: the house
  • Current Mood: sad sad
  • Current Music: Electric Light Orchestra - Getting to the Point
Ending a longtime friendship, actually taking the step of stopping being friends as opposed to letting it slow-fade, is never fun or easy, even when it's blazingly necessary. I'm so glad you were able to take the hard but decisive route.

And yeah, the aftermath of Prince's passing has been brutal, in a way that the other deaths this year haven't quite been, not even Rickman, not even Bowie. When I read your list of names of those who had Better Not Die This Year (and thought of my own such list—Richard Thompson and Ian Anderson, I'm looking at you), my first instinct was to reply, "Oh, Shriekback isn't going anywhere, they're pretty much indestructible," until I thought, "...but we can't say that any more because Prince was supposed to be indestructible too, and if he can't make it to forever, what chance do the rest of us have?" I'm trying to honor him, to turn grief into dancing and love and lust and letting my proverbial freak flag fly, but it's hard. It's so, so hard.
You have written so eloquently what I am unable to properly express. Thank you for that. Yes, Prince was a game-changer. No one we treasure is safe, and it's terrifying.
This year has been rough for deaths. Yeah, the Shrieks have to hang in there, dammit. Ditto Robin Williamson...

Speaking of the Purple One, have you seen this? It's got yer man Jeff Lynne in it as well. Prince's guitar solo is at the end, but well worth the wait. It sounds like he's trying to tear a portal to another dimension.

https://youtu.be/6SFNW5F8K9Y

Apologies if this is something you posted some time ago... I'm getting old and my memory's not what it used to be if it ever was...
Oh yes. I have had this in my top faves list on YouTube for years. He may have opened a portal 'cos, when he threw his guitar into the air, it was never seen again.